Sumlat c malaki sa kanyang tatay:
Dear tatay,
padalhan nyo kmi ng 1 kilong bigas at isang dosnang itlog.
Ang iyong anak,
Malaki.

Lumabas c malaki, pumasok c maliit, napunit ni maliit ang sulat, para d mapglitan, pinagdikitdkit nya ng tape, inutos ni malaki na ihulog ang sulat.
Pagbasa ng tatay:
Dear bigas,
padalahan nyo kmi ng…… 1 kilong tatay at isang dsenang anak.Ang iyong itlog,
Malaki

Mayroong isang contest sa Australia kung sino ang pinaka mabilis lumangoy na tatawid sa ilog na puno ng mga buwaya. Kasali ang amerika, germany, australia at brazil. Ang premyo ay sampung milyon na dolyar. At unang tumalon ang amerikano, patay agad nilapa ng buwaya. Kabado ang australiano dahil sya ang kasunod, tumalon agad ng nasa gitna na siya patay rin kinain siya ng buwaya. Takot na ang kasunod ng biglang may tumalon mabilis at nakatawid sa ilog. Pag ahon nakilala pilipino pala at palakpakan ang mga tao. At ng siya ay interbiyuhin kung ano ang gagawin niya sa premyo, ang sagot ng pinoy ipapahanap ko ang tumulak sa akin at ipapapatay ko.

Isang pari ang nagsesermon sa simbahan. “Sino ang gustong pumuntang langit, itaas ang iyong mga kamay”. Lahat ng tao doon ay nagtaas ng kamay maliban sa isang lalaki sa dulong hulihan. Nagtaka ang pari at sinabing “Lahat tayo ay gustong makita ang langit, Amen !”. Lahat ay nagsi -Amen. Yung lalaki sa dulo ay lumapit, “Hindi tutoo yan”. Nagulat ang mga tao at ang pari. “At pano mo nasabi yon?”. Naglabas ng dalawang baril ang lalaki at sabi, “Okay, sinong gustong mauna ?”.

*** Got this in my email. Just sharing…

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn’t concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn’t suited for it — mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, tried being a Chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn’t have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it… couldn’t cut the mustard.

7 My best job was as a Musician, but eventually found I wasn’t noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn’t have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn’t fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn’t live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian – until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED Retirement AND FOUND I’M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

Intsik: Bili kayo panty. Kapag sinuot ito, hindi kayo mabubuntis. Babae: Bigyan mo ako ng tatlo. 3 months later, galit si babae: Bakit ako nabuntis? Intsik: Baka hinubad mo!

isang araw,

nakita ni juan si pedro na nag tatanim

pero napansin nya na wala syang tinatanim

agad agad na nilapitan ni juan si pedro

at tinanong nya na “pedro ano yang tinatanim mo? parang wala ka namang tinatanim?

sagot ni pedro”SEEDLESS to tol! SEEDLES!

jejejeje

a lizard fell on a table. Genius: “Oh reptila
scincidae” Kikay: “eew lizard” Astig: “$h!+ butiki” Mataray: “Shucks,
tiki.” Mayaman: “Yuck Lacoste.” Mahirap: “Pare! ulam!”

What fruit describes a woman sex organ?

Answer: DURIAN.. smells like hell but taste like heaven

How about for men?

Answer: SANTOL.. sarap sipsipin pero hirap lunukin