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Archive | January, 2009

You Can’t Fix STUPID

Posted on 26 January 2009 by Henry

PJ Notes: One of those emails we get in our mailbox. We thought we share this with you.

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Idiotic ‘Millionaire’ Contestant Makes Worst Use Of Lifelines Ever

NEW YORK – Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.’

It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing ‘the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.’

After being introduced to the show’s host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question. The question was: ‘Which of the following is the largest?’

A) A Peanut
B) A n Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the answer.

‘Hmm, oh boy, that’s a toughie,’ said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief and disgust. ‘I mean, I’m sure I’ve heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be.’

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answer s A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure.

‘Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!’ exclaimed Evans. ‘Darn. I think I better phone a friend.’

Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.

‘Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I’m on TV!’ said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. ‘Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.’

Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.

‘Come on Betsy, are you sure?’ said Evans. ‘How sure are you? Duh, that can’t be it.’
To everyone’s astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend’s advice and pick ‘The Moon.’

‘I just don’t know if I can trust Betsy. She’s not all that bright. So I think I’d like to ask the audience,’ said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor o f answer C, ‘The Moon.’ Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.

‘Wow, seems like everybody is against what I’m thinking,’ said the too-stupid-to-live Evans. ‘But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let’s see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I’m going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.’

Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, ‘The Moon.’

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Cup of Tea – A Beautiful Short Story

Posted on 20 January 2009 by Henry

We know this is not your ordinary PinoyJokes story. In fact it is not a Pinoy joke. It is one of those jokes we regularly receive in our our mailbox, and we thought we share this with all Pinoy jokers. Cheers. Team PinoyJokes.net
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Cup of Tea - Beautiful StoryOne day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’ My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know.. :)

‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?

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Funny Pinoy Ads And Signs

Posted on 20 January 2009 by FooT_iK

posted outside a house
HOUSE FOR RENT, FULLY FURNACED

posted at a construction site
BAWAL OMEHI DITO, ANG MAHOLE BOG-BOG

in a restaurant in cebu
WE HAB SOP-DRINK IN CAN AN IN BATOL

in a supermarket
FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE

in a building in cubao
NONE ID,NOTHING ENTRY

on a glass window of a photography shop
WE SHOOT YOU, WHILE YOU WAIT

outside a shoe store
WE SELL IMPORTED ROBBER SHOES

inside a jeepney
1. FULL STRING TO STOP DRIVER
2. GOD KNOWS HUDAS NOT PAY

in a chinatown in greenhills
LE CHENG TEA HOUSE

vacant lot near makati avenue
DONT PARKING

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Milking the cow

Posted on 16 January 2009 by Boy Kuto

~~~A young boy was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt for the summer. One morning the aunt and uncle walked in the kitchen and the young boy was drinking a large glass of milk…..The young boy said “I got up very early this morning and milk your cow.” He then continues and says ” it took me a while to get her started up. She must be old and tired.”…..The uncle says with a confused look ” Umm, son we don’t have a cow…We have a bull!”~~~

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The toughest Pinoy

Posted on 16 January 2009 by jonski

Three friends, a German, a Japanese and a Pinoy are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie. A night of tall tales begins.

The German says, “I must be the meanest, toughest person there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands.”

The Japanese can’t stand to be bested. “Why that’s nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my barehands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I’m still here today.”

The Pinoy remained silent, walking around on burning coals with bare feet.

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