May 3 pari na magkumpare ang naupo at nagkwentuhan.

Unang Pari: Mga pare, may sikreto ako na kayo lang ang dapat makaalam.. Nabuntis ko si

Sister Emma at pinalaglag namin. Sana maunawaan ninyo ako sapagkat ako ay tao lamang at sa tukso’y nadarang.

Ikalawang Pari: May sikreto rin ako mga pare – Nalustay ko ang kinita ng simbahan noong

isang linggo at hindi ko alam kung paano ko pa mai-babalik ito.

Ikatlong Pari: Ako din may sikreto na dapat walang maka-alam.  TSISMOSO AKO

payabangan ng ihi : sa top flor ng building
hapon:1 drum na punung-puno, palakpakan mga tao
kano:3 drum na punung-puno, palakpakan uli
pinoy:walang pumalakpak….lahat ng tao nalunod

Q: Anong ginagamit ng mga babae panglinis ng kanilang maselang bahagi ng katawan???

A: Tide..!!

Q: Bakit???

A: SSSSHHHHHHHGGGGGG!!!!!!

GULAT KA NOH..?!?

An old lady went to the bank to deposit her cash worth 5,000,000.00, But she ask the clerk first”

Clerk: Good morning ma’am, may i help you?

Old lady: yes! please,, im going to deposit my money but i want to have a conversation first to your manager because of big cash im going to transact on your bank worth 5million

Clerk:oH!! thats a big deal ma’am,, of course, ill lead you to our manager,..

Then so, the old lady went to the managers office & they talk about her cash to deposit,.

Manager: So madam, you are going to deposit the money you bring in our bank, were so lucky you choose us,

old lady: actually, i have a lot of bank accounts, lots of money & what i am depositing to you are just about 3% of my whole earnings everyday,,

Manager: oooHHH!! (wondering) thats a lot of money, i mean what kind of job you have? to get all of these???

old lady: by GAMBLING!

Manager: gambling?? but how?

old lady: ok,, ill give you an example

Manager: OK then,, ill listen

old lady: I’ll bet 10million, that you have a pair of square shaped balls!!!!

Manager: huh?? (shocked) you mean the balls of my (*(* ? you must be kiddin me??

old lady: no,, i am serious,,

Manager: ok then, ill show them to you & i will get your 5million

old lady: yes, but not too fast, you will show them to me & i’ll check them by TOUCHING with my witness (a Lawyer) to ensure that everything is legal tommorrow morning,

Manager:oh sure, tomorrow is no problem (smiling)

The manager was sure of that his balls are not square in shape,

well he’s probably right,, there were no balls other than oblique or rounded in shape”’ & this is what happen the next day

old lady: mr, manager,, im am now with my lawyer, you can show your balls now,, dont worry, im am not interested on your pennis,,, balls only.

Manager: ok,, here they are (showing his balls)

The old lady then check the manager’s balls with her hands, holding them, they were round in shape

Manager: i think you lose old lady,, can i now get my 5million bucks?

old lady: oh well, you win

Manager: hahahahhahaha!!!

The manager was so overwhelming happy because of the easy money,

Suddenly, The lawyer was hammering his head on the wall several times while the old lady was holding the manager’s balls

wHY???

because the old lady has also a deal with the lawyer last two days ago (a day before the deal w/ the bank manager) the SHE CAN HOLD/TOUCH THE BANK MANAGER’s BALLS for a bet of 100,000,000.00 (100million bucks)

may isang lalaki na nag bibilyard

(unang tira……..di nya natamaan….) sabi nya ay gago…..

(pangalawang tira……di nya tinamaan….) sabi nya SHIT!!!!!

Nagalit na si God sabi nya Pag nagmura ka pa patatamaan kita ng kidlat.

(pangatlong tira…….di nya natamaan……) sabi nya ay tangang gago!!!!

(galit na si God) TATAMAAN NA KITA!!!!!!  PERO DI TINAMAAN NG KIDLAT YUNG LALAKI

DAHIL NA KAILAG SYA (sabi ni God ay pucha Nakailag pa tong gagong ito……..hehehehehehe…..

SORRY PO GOD!!!!!!!!

ada: 2l dba biology ka ??

anu daw hayop ang d muh cgurado ang kasarian ??

chris: ahas,

ada:mali

chris:mga insekto

ada:mali parin

chris:eh d anuh

ada:eh d cow

chris:bakit cow

ada: eh kc “baka” lalaki, “baka” babae..

Parrot: Pag hinila mo itong kaliwang paa ko, kakanta ako… pag kanan tutula naman..

Boy: Wow! Galing naman… E pano pag sabay kong hinila paa mo ?

Parrot: D mahuhulog ako ! Tanga ka ba ?

May dalawang sundalo nag-usapan sa barracks nila

sundalo1: pare may inspection daw bukas. Mag inspection sila kung sino ang mga bakla dito

sundalo2: eh ano naman di nman tayo bakla.

sundalo1: pare may kilala akong bakla

sundalo2: eh di sino?

sundalo1: pa kiss muna pare sasabihin ko