This joke was very popular about ten years ago. Para sa mga hindi nakita ito.

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Gregorio Talahib – George Bush
Tomas Cruz – Tom Cruise
Macario Maldonado – Mac Donald
Remegio Batungbacal – Remington Steel
Victoria Malihim – Victoria Secret
Bienvenido Jurado – Ben Hur
Juanito Lakarin – Johnny Walker
Federico Hagibis – Federal Express
Esteban Magtaka – Stevie Wonder
Jaime Bondoc – James Bond
Leon Mangubat – Tiger Woods
Eleuterio Ignacio – Electronic Ignition
Burgus Bahag-Hari – Burger King
Kasimiro Bukaykay – Cashmere Bouquet
Maria Calas – Mary Kay
Rogelio Dagdagan – Roger Moore
Topacio Mamaril – Top Gun
Restituto Pruto – Tutti Frutti
Samuel Tampipi – Sam Sonite
Veneracion De Asis – Venereal Disease
Alfonso De Asis – Alzheimer Disease
Francisco Portero – Frank Porter
Diosdado Durante – Deo Dorant
Roberto Controlado – Bert Control
Marcelo Controlado – Muscle Control
Carpio Llanes – Carpool Lanes
Julia Domingo – Holy Sunday
Maria Pascua – Mary Christmas
Ligaya Anonuevo – Happy New Year
Ligaya Almundo – Joy To The World
Ricardo Martinez – Ricky Martin

“Am I pretty or ugly?” tanong ng naglalambing misis sa kanyang mister.

“Both” sagot ng mister.

“Ano ang ibig mong sabihin na both?”

“Ang ibig kong sabihin, you’re pretty ugly.”

May isang bata pumunta sa heaven at nakita niya si San pedro nagbabantay sa labas ng gate at pinapasok siya at maraming orasan nakadikit sa pader at tinanong ng bata si San Pedro

bata: San pedro bakit po ang daming orasan dito sa Heaven

San pedro: kasi ang orasan na yan ay mga ginagawa ng tao kung may nagawang siyang kasalanan gagalaw iyan

bata: ok (tinignan niya ang isang orasan at hindi ito gumagalaw)

bata: San Pedro bakit hindi ito gumagalaw

San Pedro: dahil Madre iyan

bata: ah ok (tinignan niya ang isang orasan at mabagal itong gumalaw)

bata: San pedro bakit po ito ang bagal gumalaw

san pedro: dahil mabait siya hindi siya gaanong nagkakasala

bata: ah ok teka muna nasaan yung kay ate glo

San Pedro: ah kay Gloria na kay Jesus. Ginagawang Electric Fan

Babala: Galing ito sa ating My PinoyJokes section; sayang lang, hindi nilagyan ng pangalan ng nag-post.

PJ Notes: One of those emails we get in our mailbox. We thought we share this with you.

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Idiotic ‘Millionaire’ Contestant Makes Worst Use Of Lifelines Ever

NEW YORK – Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.’

It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing ‘the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.’

After being introduced to the show’s host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question. The question was: ‘Which of the following is the largest?’

A) A Peanut
B) A n Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the answer.

‘Hmm, oh boy, that’s a toughie,’ said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief and disgust. ‘I mean, I’m sure I’ve heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be.’

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answer s A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure.

‘Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!’ exclaimed Evans. ‘Darn. I think I better phone a friend.’

Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.

‘Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I’m on TV!’ said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. ‘Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.’

Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.

‘Come on Betsy, are you sure?’ said Evans. ‘How sure are you? Duh, that can’t be it.’
To everyone’s astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend’s advice and pick ‘The Moon.’

‘I just don’t know if I can trust Betsy. She’s not all that bright. So I think I’d like to ask the audience,’ said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor o f answer C, ‘The Moon.’ Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.

‘Wow, seems like everybody is against what I’m thinking,’ said the too-stupid-to-live Evans. ‘But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let’s see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I’m going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.’

Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, ‘The Moon.’

We know this is not your ordinary PinoyJokes story. In fact it is not a Pinoy joke. It is one of those jokes we regularly receive in our our mailbox, and we thought we share this with all Pinoy jokers. Cheers. Team PinoyJokes.net
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One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’ My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know..

‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?