A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon her arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.

‘I’m sorry,’ St Peter said; ‘But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.’

‘That’s cool’ said the blonde, ‘What does the Entrance Exam consist of? Continue Reading

A couple met in one of the golf courses in the Bahamas and fell in love. They were discussing how they would continue the relationship after their vacations are over.

“It’s only fair to warn you, Rica,” he said. “I’m a golf nut. I live, eat, sleep and breathe golf.”

“Well, since you’re being honest, so will I,” Rica said. “I’m a hooker.”

“I see,” he said glumly. Then brightening, he smiled. “it’s probably because you’re not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball.”

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said:”Your first job will be to sweep out the store”. “But I’m a university graduate,” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom – I’ll show you how.”

I’ve read somewhere that based on research, the sex urge of a man greatly depends on his age. For example: aged 18 – 25 (twice a day) aged 26 – 35 (daily) aged 36 – 55 (tri-weekly) aged 56 and over (try weakly)

One day, I was babysitting my niece. Before we slept, she told me to read her a story. I got so tired of playing, so picked the farm animals book. I was surprised she knew all the animal sounds in the book. Right after she said “Tweet! Tweet!” seeing the bird on the branch, I turned to the next page, which had a picture of a Dalmatian. My niece, confused (by the look of her face), said “Moo!”

An old lady went to the bank to deposit her cash worth 5,000,000.00, But she ask the clerk first”

Clerk: Good morning ma’am, may i help you?

Old lady: yes! please,, im going to deposit my money but i want to have a conversation first to your manager because of big cash im going to transact on your bank worth 5million

Clerk:oH!! thats a big deal ma’am,, of course, ill lead you to our manager,..

Then so, the old lady went to the managers office & they talk about her cash to deposit,.

Manager: So madam, you are going to deposit the money you bring in our bank, were so lucky you choose us,

old lady: actually, i have a lot of bank accounts, lots of money & what i am depositing to you are just about 3% of my whole earnings everyday,,

Manager: oooHHH!! (wondering) thats a lot of money, i mean what kind of job you have? to get all of these???

old lady: by GAMBLING!

Manager: gambling?? but how?

old lady: ok,, ill give you an example

Manager: OK then,, ill listen

old lady: I’ll bet 10million, that you have a pair of square shaped balls!!!!

Manager: huh?? (shocked) you mean the balls of my (*(* ? you must be kiddin me??

old lady: no,, i am serious,,

Manager: ok then, ill show them to you & i will get your 5million

old lady: yes, but not too fast, you will show them to me & i’ll check them by TOUCHING with my witness (a Lawyer) to ensure that everything is legal tommorrow morning,

Manager:oh sure, tomorrow is no problem (smiling)

The manager was sure of that his balls are not square in shape,

well he’s probably right,, there were no balls other than oblique or rounded in shape”’ & this is what happen the next day

old lady: mr, manager,, im am now with my lawyer, you can show your balls now,, dont worry, im am not interested on your pennis,,, balls only.

Manager: ok,, here they are (showing his balls)

The old lady then check the manager’s balls with her hands, holding them, they were round in shape

Manager: i think you lose old lady,, can i now get my 5million bucks?

old lady: oh well, you win

Manager: hahahahhahaha!!!

The manager was so overwhelming happy because of the easy money,

Suddenly, The lawyer was hammering his head on the wall several times while the old lady was holding the manager’s balls

wHY???

because the old lady has also a deal with the lawyer last two days ago (a day before the deal w/ the bank manager) the SHE CAN HOLD/TOUCH THE BANK MANAGER’s BALLS for a bet of 100,000,000.00 (100million bucks)

Not exactly Pinoy jokes, but I thought I share these with you. I received them as part of my friend’s Birthday greetings to me.

Grandma and Grandson #1

“My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.
He asked me how old I was, and I told him, ’62.’ He was quiet for a
moment, and then he asked, ‘Did you start at 1?”

Grandma and Grandson #2

“When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, ‘I’m
not sure.’ ‘Look in your underwear, Grandma,’ he advised. ‘Mine says
I’m 4 – 6.”

John & Marsha decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.”There’s a car being towed from the parking lot” he shouted.

A few moments passed “An ambulance just drove by”A few moments passed. “Looks like the Andersons have company” he called out.

“Matt’s riding a new bike”

“The Coopers are having sex!!”

Startled, Mother and Dad shot up in bed!!!

Dad cautiously asked “How do you know they are having sex??”

“Jimmy Cooper is standing out on his balcony too”